Eastbourne Cricket Club

2005 Awards (An alternative view!)

They are back!! Here is an alternative awards list for achievements of a different kind for 2005. (For all those mentioned, please don't contact your lawyer, its merely a bit of light hearted humour!)

The Alfred Smythe Drinking Trophy - Not Awarded

The Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta-Jones Shot Gun Wedding Award - Jack Hepburn

The Keener than Roy Keane of Keaneville, Keaneshire Salver - Charles Kitching

The Lord Lucan 'Where is he?' Cup - John Heald

The Geoffrey Boycott 'I'll play for my average instead' Trophy - Chris Baker

The Award for a cricketing version of the film The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Martyn Garnett

The David Blunkett Visa/Nanny Malaki Award - Mike Pannett

The Dulux Paint Drying Batting Trophy - Simon Hoadley (2 years in a row)

The Lucrative Mothercare Model Contract - Simon Funnell

The 'I fancy a Ladyboy!' Salver - Duncan Cameron

The Chesney Hawkes One Hit Wonder Award - Luke Tomsett

The 'North is s*** so I came down south again' Trophy - Adam Blackburn

The Live8 Big let down Award - Sean Heather

The 'He's more like James Brown' Trophy - Ben Brown

The Sven Goran Eriksson Salary Scheme Award - Chris Waller

The  Double Egg & Chips always available Salver - Paul Hacker

The Tony Blair Bad Speech(es) Trophy - Graham Underdown

The More Hair than a Barbers floor Award - Mark Trubshaw

The Chris Evans Award for Services to Gingers - Jon Lord

The Prize for best shaven John McCririck look a like - Malcolm Baker

The Roald Dahl BFG Award - Ollie Rayner

The Miss Moneypenny School of below par Secretaries Scholarship - Hilda Bamber

The 'Shall I toss the coin to see if I will play' Trophy - John Tomsett

The Wayne Rooney Tantrum Trophy - Richard Smith

The George Bush Decision Making Prize - Peter Bibby

The Maureen from Driving School Award for Worst Driver in the South East - Mark Tomsett

The More noughts than the International dialling code Plaque - Darren Cumming

The More runs than the local tandorri Award - Darren Cumming

The Russ Varney 'I only play at home' Award - Jon Purdey

The Kevin Pietersen Arrogance Salver - Stuart Collier

The More Pies than Mr Kipling Award - Tom Smith

The Gordon Brown 'Where's all the money gone?' Treasury Plaque - Angie Myall (2 years in a row)

The Government Award for More cones than the M25 for a Warm up - Richard Burnett

The Greame Hick disappointing debut Trophy - Craig Pitman

The Steve Backley Javelin Throwing Salver - Ollie Ody (2 years in a row)

The Linford Christie Guide to Sprinting Book - Michael Lockwood

The Osama Bin Laden 'Where is he?' Cup - Paul Stevens

The Farmer Giles Award for Best Ploughed Field - Murray Schofield

The 'Did you shave in the dark?' Cup - Dick Blake (2 years in a row)

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